1.<font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">小舅子过来跟我借钱买车，我问他借多少？</font></font><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">“车落地多少钱，他说借15万，车落地12万！”</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">“你说反了吧？”</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">“没有啊！就是借15万，车12万，我得多借3万加油啊！”</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">我：.....</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">2.爷爷前一阵子把腿摔伤了，出院后，常常在院子里颤颤巍巍的练习走路。</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">今天，爷爷又在院里练习走路，小明用手机播放起了音乐，给他伴奏。</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">结果爷爷暴怒：“兔崽子，你放植物大战僵尸的音乐是什么意思？”</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">3.机场，一位大妈拍拍我肩膀：“小伙，帮我拍个照！”</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">我接过手机，点开相机咔咔咔给大妈拍了几张！还了手机，正要走。。。</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">大妈喊住我：“等等！你忘了开美颜！”</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">4.一只老鼠在路边翻着垃圾，我揪起店里正在熟睡的花猫，使劲向老鼠扔去。</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">猫和老鼠都愣住了，对视了不到一秒，各自扭头就跑。。。</font></font><br /><font face=""Verdana,"><font color="#444444">5.只有弱者才会在分手时痛哭流涕求他不要走，我们强者都是跪在地上抱着对方大腿让他寸步难移。</font></font>